They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but experimental Aztec archeology has demonstrated that it’s past the stomach and up under the ribcage. With a sharp knife and practice they got it down to under 10 seconds.

All microwaves can defrost. In 30ish years I have yet to see one make pizza crust crispy.

They’re savages, but they probably also think NY Pizza is good.

Looks fine to me. Just make sure it can pull enough air through those tiny holes. Might need to take a drill to the white casing to open those up.