Sorry you have to deal with this. I know it wasn’t in your list of options, but you could attend HOA meetings, bring up the internet issue and see if they’ll change the current setup, or you could get elected to an HOA board and start pulling the strings of change. That’s more of a long-term goal though.
I hope the internet is promptly getting to work “rule 34ing” this mascot. Personally I would like to see Luce getting railed by the pope.